“U.S.
aims to halt memory disorder.”
This headline appeared on the front page of the local newspaper today,
from Melissa Healy of the Los Angeles Times. Dr. Francis Collins, the director of the National Institute
of Health, “promised a raft of new research aimed at preventing, stopping and
reversing the memory-robbing disorder by the year 2025.”
I’ve
seen too many minds and bodies affected by Alzheimer’s disease. The view through a window of an open
lawn transforms into a bustling train station. Patience is lost, replaced by frustration and anger. Having always welcomed guests
graciously, bodies curl up in bed, unresponsive to family’s touch. Bright eyes lose their luster and
become vacant. Smiles turn into
permanent frowns. I hope that this
new research is successful, for the benefit of future patients and their
families, friends, and caretakers, and everyone in between.
The
experience of brain fog is incredibly frustrating and confusing and stressful, however I do not mean to equate this
experience with that of Alzheimer’s disease. Brain fog is a symptom that is common to depression, Fibromyalgia,
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Sjögren’s Syndrome, but is not limited to
these. To experience brain fog is
similar to the sensation of “being out of it” or the sluggishness one feels after
taking cold or allergy medicine.
I
always felt like I had a good, solid memory. Not like perfect recall, that would have been interesting, if
not burdensome, but I was able to memorize things easily and remember events
and conversations in detail. I
still maintain some of my ability, but a couple years ago started noticing some
disturbing changes.
My
mind is not like it used to be, I’d tell
myself, shaking my head. I was
partially joking, being in my early twenties, my mind had no reason to be
losing track. But I still would lose my train of thought in the middle of
telling a story. I’d be describing
something to friends, get stuck, and then hint at the word for which I was
searching my dusty mind. An avid reader, I also began
having difficulties focusing on the words on the page and following the story. Becoming frustrated, I stopped forcing
myself and watched television programs instead. I also started to forget things that I had just done. What is happening to me? I
wondered.
These
symptoms continued, along with getting overwhelmed when my surroundings grew noisy, and
starting to mix up the orders of words and letters when I spoke. In order to counter these instances, I did
crossword puzzles and Sudoku. Shortly
after starting, I stopped doing these puzzles because, one, I did not enjoy struggling
through Will Shortz’s tricky clues, and, two, I got bored of Sudoku. Eventually, I was diagnosed with all of
the illnesses I listed above. At
least it wasn’t my imagination that these things were happening, there seemed
to be a reason.
Although
recognized as a serious problem, brain fog, or cognitive dysfunction, is not
widely understood. Hypotheses are
that brain fog could be a result of lack of restorative sleep, mental
distraction due to pain, brain abnormalities, or premature brain aging. Another idea is that some etiologies disturb
regulating parts of the brain, affecting the overall level of consciousness. Chronic stress might also cause brain
fog, overstimulating the brain and effecting sleep.
Even though I
continue to suffer from these episodes when my brain seems to be hijacked into
another world, I have begun to cope. Slowly, I eased back into reading, and now if I don’t read an hour every
day, I feel like I missed something. I carry a book wherever I go. Also, I am learning how to cultivate mindfulness, giving me the ability to let these episodes pass
without being so hard on myself.
Sometimes I get glimpses of that awesome memory of which I was always proud, recalling exact words in conversations and remembering details of trivial
events.
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